[SCENE START]

**SOUND:** Static crackle, followed by the upbeat jingle of WECR, West Ermine Community Radio.

**SAM (V.O.):** Welcome back to WECR, West Ermine's only, and arguably best, community radio station! This is Sam, your host, and today we have a… *special* show planned.

**JESS (V.O., overlapping):** Special?  More like "desperate attempt to avoid complete radio silence."

**SOUND:** Jess's microphone hisses.

**SAM:** Jess, darling, must you be so negative?  We have Mayor Mildred McMillan scheduled for an interview about the annual West Ermine gnome-tossing competition.

**JESS:**  Right, because that's *exactly* what our listeners are clamoring for.  A deep dive into the aerodynamics of garden gnomes.

**SOUND:** Eddie sighs dramatically from the sound booth.

**EDDIE (V.O.):**  Guys, Mayor McMillan just cancelled.  Apparently, she got stuck in a particularly stubborn batch of elderflower cordial.

**SAM:** What?!  No!  We're live in five minutes!

**REGINALD (V.O., frantic):** Don't panic! I have a plan!  A… fluid plan!  It involves… improvisation! And possibly a pie.

**SOUND:** The sound of frantic typing and rustling papers.

**JESS:**  Oh, this is going to be a disaster.

**(FADE OUT JESS'S VOICE)**

**SAM (V.O.):**  And we're live!  Uh… hello, West Ermine!  Welcome to… uh… WECR's… *improvised* afternoon delight!

**(SOUND of upbeat, slightly off-key music)**

**JESS (V.O.):**  So, uh, Sam's "afternoon delight" apparently involves a segment called "Culinary Catastrophes," where we attempt to make a cake using only ingredients found in Reginald's pockets.

**(SOUND of rustling, followed by the clanging of metal)**

**REGINALD (V.O.):**  I found a rusty spoon!  And a half-eaten licorice whip!  It'll add… zest!

**SAM (V.O.):**  Zest?  Reginald, that's a rusty spoon and a licorice whip!

**(SOUND of a comical struggle, followed by a loud thud)**

**JESS (V.O.):**  And now we're taking calls!  Our first caller wants to know… has anybody seen Paul Blart Mall Cop 2?

**(SOUND of a dial tone, followed by a confused voice)**

**CALLER (V.O.):**  I just… I just really need to know if Paul Blart gets his scooter back.

**EDDIE (V.O.):**  I think he does.  But I'm not entirely sure.  I haven't seen it.

**(SOUND of nervous laughter)**

**SAM (V.O.):**  And now, for something completely different… it's the WECR impromptu talent show!

**(SOUND of a ukulele being strummed badly)**

**REGINALD (V.O.):**  I can juggle… spoons!  Rusty spoons!

**(SOUND of clanging spoons, followed by a crash)**

**JESS (V.O.):**  Well, that was… something.

**SAM (V.O.):**  And that's all the time we have for today!  Join us tomorrow for… well, we'll figure something out.

**(SOUND of the WECR jingle, followed by static)**

[SCENE END]